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Today is my mothers birthday. She died to young and I am too young to be without a mother.

Happy Birthday Mom

Barbara Jean Adams

November 24,1948 to August 7,2008

Funeral

My brothers raising the flag at half mass in honor of our mother

Peter Pan'n It

This last weekend my husband and I went to Rexburg Idaho, where we went to college and met, so he could make a film with some of his friends and I could have a small little weekend away. It was a bitter sweet trip. It was great to see all of our friends. As we sat at dinner with someone of them it made me kinda sad. Everyone I know is progressing with their lives. Most of my friend are pregnant and starting their families, or going on missions, about to graduate with school, and live in cute apartments and have their own lives. I feel like right now I am in a peter pan stage, I am not yet a women and not a child. Ethan and I have made some sacrifices as a couple to be here for my family. Don't get me wrong, with these sacrifices comes great reward. I just feel like everyone is progressing and I, or we are not. I will be taking care of my dad for the rest of his life. I love him and there is such a comfort in knowing that I am doing my all to keep the commandment to honor thy mother and father. He is all I have left as of three months ago and I want no regrets. I find myself at time looking at apartments online just for fun and as I am cleaning the house wondering what it would be like to have my own place again. I upset with myself for thinking these thoughts because if I learned anything from the death of my mother it is that time is always too short. It has been a relatively short time since the passing of my mother and I have to remind myself of that all the time. Too often I think that is no longer ok for me to be sad because she has been gone for longer then a week. As her birthday and Thanksgiving rolls around I am plagued with regret. Why didn't I write down her stuffing recipe? Why didn't I make a bigger deal of her last birthday? Why didn't I just hold her hand when she asked me to? Why didn't I....?

I Don't Want to Get Involved

I really don't want to get involved with the whole "yes" or "no" on proposition 8 movement. I just want to say that my heart is heavy for everyone that is being hurt by this "proposition." My heart goes out to the members of the Gay and Lesbian population that feel wronged by the decision and my heart goes out to the LDS church and its members for the attack that is against them. It saddens me. My prayers and thoughts are with everyone. As I sad before I believe in opposition in all things. Right now things are bad but hopefully soon they will be that much better.

Bold and Sassy

A little while ago I was sitting at the table with my husband having lunch after church and some how the subject came up of how he would describe me. When I asked the question he said without hesitation, "Bold and Sassy!" I replied, "really?" he then said, "yep. Asked my mom there is a story that goes along with the way I like my women." So then I called his mother and asked her, " how does Ethan like his women?" She then replied, "my baby likes his women bold and sassy that is why we were not surprised at all when he said he wanted to marry you Sarah dear because you are definitely bold and sassy." She then proceeded to tell me the story of when Ethan was 3 and why he likes his women bold and sassy. Of all the things that could be said to describe me and he said, "bold and sassy." I LOVE it! I am my mothers daughter and I get it from her. I would take bold and sassy any day!

All in Good Time

Life has been exciting as usual. I went to a lovely Halloween party. I went as a 1920's flapper mostly because I really wanted to do my hair in finger waves. My husband went as a 1970's cop. His costume was funny until he shaved off his beard to make the costume look more legit. I am a fan of the facial hair and needless to say was not happy when he shaved it off. Then it was my friend Sherri's birthday so we had a small party at school. This last Saturday night Ethan and I went to a Venue called OZZ in Provo to watch our brother-in-law compete at the battle of the bands. It was so much fun. Just the kind of night out that I needed. I really like my sister-in-laws; they are always fun and make me laugh. We went, danced, they won, and then we went out to Denny's for a midnight snack. I was taught that there is opposition in all things; life is hard but days like Saturday are worth it.

Look at the statutory stache my husband now has

The finger waves



My friends birthday

Update... brace yourself its not pretty

To be completely honest I feel like most of the time I have nothing noteworthy to report. All the new I have has to be with someone just dying, the anniversary of some one's death, or someone is in the hospital. We celebrated my little brother's 20th birthday on the 11th but my dad being emitted to the hospital put a little bit of a damper on things. I made a complete fool out of myself in front of the Bill Gates of Paul Mitchell on the 14th, it wasn't pretty lets not talk about it. My teacher at school got married and I made her wedding cake. It was a lot of work but totally worth it cause my mother taught me how to make cakes and I think the end result would have made her proud. She wanted a simple cake to go along with her relatively simple but elegant and beautiful wedding. The wedding happened to be on the 18th which is the two year anniversary of my brother Nathan's death. It was a hard day but the cake helped to keep my mind off of things. After dropping off the cake to the reception my little brother and I went to go visit my dad who is STILL in the hospital. We originally took him in because he was retaining water which is not good for someone with congestive heart failure. As we went to go visit we found out that he had an infection that spread to his blood stream, muscle spasms that left him basically crippled, and had to have surgery on his wrist. I was upset seeing all that was going on with my dad and wondered why the doctor had not kept us informed. I walked with my brother to the nurses station and asked if I could talk to the physician that was on duty her reply was, " well.... sure.... but is your mom with you?" I quickly replied "my mom is dead you're gonna have to talk to me" I understand I look young for my age but really? He is still in the hospital but we are hoping he will be home soon. Other then that not much to report.... oh yeah and I have strep throat!

I was talking to Ethan last night about how I really sound like a depressing person and that our lives at this point in time are mildly depressing. I am not depressed I enjoy my life. I just feel that the LDS population or our generation has redefined the meaning of the word "blog" Our blogs seen to be filled with nothing but the positive wonderful great things in our lives and nothing that is real. I find most blogs depressing because all they say is how wonderful everyone one Else's lives are and I feel they paint a unreal picture perfect world. Come on people I know you have bad days be honest. Lets here about the bad days once in awhile at least so I don't feel so bad. =)

Nathan Adams

My siblings and I paying tribute to our brother by "mooning" the casket.... if you new him you would understand

The wedding cake I made

Tagged

Ok so I was reading my cute friend Kellee's blog and she tagged me. So here it goes...

8 TV Shows You Watch...

1. What Not to Wear
2. The Hills
3. What Not to Wear
4. Project Runway
5. America's Next Top Model
6. What Not to Wear
7. CSI
8. and What Not to Wear

Favorite Restaurants...

1. DONUT WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!
2. Cafe Rio
3. Macaroni Grill
4. Red Robin
5. Fresco
6. Wynn Buffet
7. Bueno Vita
8. My mom's kitchen.... No one could top my moms cooking...

Things that Happened Yesterday...

1.Went to school
2. Went shopping with Ruby
3. Lost/got my wallet stolen in forever 21
4. Searched for my wallet
5. Didn't find my wallet
6. Went to dinner with hubby and friends
7. Had sleep over with Ruby
8. Was pissed about getting my wallet stolen

8 Thing I Look Forward To...

1. The first time I feel my moms presence around me when I need her the most
2. Financial stability
3. Being done with school
4. Making something of myself
5. Having children
6. Having more time with my husband
7. Buying my first house
8. Being with all my family again in heaven

8 Things On My Wish List...

1. Being with my mom and brother again
2. Everything on previous top eight
3. Being able to buy something without worry about cost
4. For my sister to move back to Utah
5. Being a top make-up and hair artist
6. For my husband to be successful
7. To always be happy
8. To go on vacation with just me and my husband