I for the life of me cannot shake this cold. I just feel stuffy all the time. I never get sick so this is new for me. It is almost April which means the last month of school and I am getting excited for summer. Ethan is applying for a graphic design job at Skull Candy so keep it in your prayers that he gets it. It would mean worlds for us!

how many times can a heart break?

I was going through a box of paperwork trying to find the title to our car. Instead I found three letters written to me from my Mom. Letters that were unopened. My Mom took the time to write me at least every other day when I lived in Idaho and she was in Utah sick and I didn't even read them. I was so caught up with my own life and being newly married that I did even bother to take the time to open the envelope. My heart sank in my chest as I opened the envelopes and read my Mothers words. How could I be so selfish? How could I not see how valuables these letters would be to me? How did I not see how my Mother was reaching out to me in her time of need? She knew that someday I would miss her and these letters would be a way for me to remember and to show my kids who she was and I, I just threw them in a box without even breaking the seal. I am pretty sure my heart broke again as I read her words to me. How many times can a heart break? If I could go back there is so many things I would have done better. But I can't go back. I wish I could write my Mom now.

Dear Mom,
Thank you so much for your sweet letters; for taking the time out of your day to think of me. You always bring a smile to my face. Be patient with dad he has his faults but try to remember why your married him in the first place. I know Quincy has been taking good care of you both. He truly is a one of a kind. He has a big heart and loves to help people, a quality that you and dad taught him. I think it is great that you are teaching Bridgette how to decorate cakes. I know that the skill you have taught me have proved to be extremely valuable in more ways then one.
Mom I want to apologize. I want to apologize for everything that I did and did not do. I am sorry for not being there for you during your surgeries. I am sorry for not taking the time to write you back. I am sorry for not being there for you through Chemo. I am sorry that you felt you needed to hold on longer even though you were in pain because I was too selfish to let you go. I am sorry that my one job while you were on hospice was to keep you free of pain and I couldn't. I am sorry that I can't bring myself to visit your grave. I am sorry that I didn't take the time to learn more from you. I am sorry I didn't hug you more. I am sorry for not taking better care of you. But most of all I am sorry... sorry that I am mad. Mad at you for not going to the doctor sooner. Mad at you not being here when I need you. Mad that when I call your phone you don't answer when I really need to talk to my mom. Its not your fault but I need someone to blame and you always blame the ones you love most because you know they will forgive you no matter what. I know you forgive me mom but I wish you were here to tell me to forgive myself. I love you with all my heart.
I am so sorry,
Love Sarah Jean

Swim Suit

Every summer I want to by a cute new swim suit. You know? the one swim suit that I will feel totally cute and sassy in. But I never feel cute and sassy in a swim suit. I just wish there was a way to order the body that came in the swim suit to!

sick sick sick

So for the past couple of days I haven't been feeling 100% but nothing too bad. I have a philosophy about being sick. When I don't feel well I force myself to get out of bed, shower, put makeup on, and do something. I also drink a ton of water and take small naps. For the most part I never get sick. I try no to take medicine if I don't have to and it works. I am still able to get up and go and do without it being a problem. My husband on the other hand feels like he has the black plague every time he sneezes. So now he is sick and I am taking care of him. I think it is a boy thing. They are all big and manly until they get a cold!

My Cute Little Family

Kissing, taking a picture, and driving now that is talent!

Ninety percent of our pictures are taken while we are in the car and driving. Our kids are going to wonder why we never took pics from farther away then arms length.

I got some new sandals for the summer and I LOVE them! I have a serious love for shoes and these and my new favorites!



Today the birds are out and the sun is shining! My cute hubby and I got to play catch outside and enjoy the weather. Then after we played baseball and football we had a picnic in the front yard followed by some tres leche cake with strawberries on top. All in all today has been great!

So yesterday was fun. My sister niece and I went into Paul Mitchell and got our hair done and I got my lip wax which I have never done before and now feel sorry for all the poor souls I have done it for in the past. Afterwards we went out to lunch at a underground sandwich shop. I had my camera with me the whole time and did not take one picture!! Sad I know I need to get better at taking pictures. After lunch we came back to my house and were both so tired we took a nap on my couch while my niece watched a princess movie. Then my little brother came over and I took him shopping to get some new clothes. He did the HCG diet and lost about 50lbs and looks great I am so proud of him. Then we came home and played tetris on Super Nintendo which has got to be the best gaming system ever made!!! I love Nintendo.
Today my hubby has the day off till four so we are going to buy a soccer ball and a softball and go play in the sun. I am sick for the first time in forever but am so excited about my time off that I refused to rest I just wanna play!

Things I am grateful for today
Time off
Dayquil
The grass in my yard
Sandals

SPRING BREAK!

So I some how managed to get all my homework and tests done. I worked today and now have tomorrow and Friday off! I have not been so excited to have a few days off in my life. This semester hasn't been too bad but it is my first one back in college and I am still getting the hang of things. Tomorrow my sister and my niece and coming down and we are going to go to my school and get some pampering done and then we are going to have lunch and who knows what I will do Friday the possibilities are endless!

Thing I like today:
The smell of the sun
Seeing everyone in green
My front yard
And sinus medicine

"Procrastination is like masturbation... the only one you are screwing is yourself"

This is me procrastinating. I have a outrageous amount of homework to do along with church work to do and I lack the motivation to do either. Why is that procrastination comes so easily? Every time I do it I think to myself, "next time I am going to get this done sooner so I wont have to cram like this" and next time roles around and history repeats itself. Well, at least I know that I am consistent so maybe instead of trying to not procrastinate I should try to enjoy the cram session that comes with it. You have two choices in life, Bitter or Better. I try to always choose Better.



Things I am thankful for today:
Church Callings
The Young Women I teach
The sunshine that comes through the window
Heating pad
And most of all the sound of my hubby's laughter coming from the other room

Spring is a Tease

I have made the executive decision that I do not like spring. Spring is a tease. It is like a women wearing red lipstick on a third date. You know are guaranteed a kiss on the third date and the girl is wearing red lipstick. The lipstick says "hey look at my lips but DON'T touch cause you will smear my lipstick" That is how spring in Utah is. It was sunny and nice outside like t-shirt weather. The next day is snowed and today it is sunny again. What will tomorrow bring? Spring you are a tease! I just want it to be summer already. Summer doesn't tease you it is warm outside everyday without fail summer is guaranteed to put out.

Homework Homework, Work, Homework, Church, and More Homework

Life is busy right now, good but busy. I have been struggling with balancing all the things I have got going on.

Things I decided I am thankful for today: my cute little house, my sister, fresh sheets, my heating pad, and chicken nuggets.